why is it not 8pm yet?!
I'm sitting here at ResNet answering phones and I want to stab something. The interweb has been slow and we have no idea why. And then people call and it's annoying. Work isn't quite as fun as it used to be anymore. I think I just got tired of dealing with it all..

In other news, I bought the cutest Kero-chan plushie today! *huggles it* Also, last night on the way back from Jacob's I got this amazing idea for an artsy type project, so now I just need to implement it. Should be interesting at any rate.

Also, started watching Paradise Kiss because I finally bought the first manga volume and am fascinated by the outfits. It's a very eclectic anime.. but I find myself liking it.

And now back to working on my project...

I'm back at uconn now. And I woke up and got out of bed before 8am. All for ResNet Training that seems to consist primarily of ice breakers and... more ice breakers. @_@

My throat also *still* hurts which worries me because while it's not bad enough to make me think I should get it checked, it has presisted since Tuesday and it just vaguely annoying.

My one saving grace is that we're going to get Japanese good tonight for dinner and it's going to be tasty... provided my throat doesnt decide to say "DEATH!" On that note, perhaps I should prepare to take the trek across campus for breakfast, since y'know... I won't be eating till noon... and I will most definitely be hungry before noon what with that whole waking up at 7:30 thing...

*sigh* So tired....

Yay 3am!! *sigh* Why am I still awake? Oh yeah.. because I have a big exam on Friday and need to memorize 160 scientific plant names before then... Bleh.

The rest of my weekend went well. Sunday was the first time I saw my parents in like a month and it was really nice. Didn't do much Sunday beyond poke around the house and get back to school. I found my old laptop in the basement!!! It's so amazingly awesome I don't know how I thought I could survive college with it. Mac OS 8.1 and a total harddrive space of 775mb. I basically have a cd in laptop form sitting my room here now... *sweatdrop* I must play around with it more after Friday.

Work was the usual blah. Wasn't feeling very good. It was weird. I felt kinda lonely again, but more in the sense that I saw how much fun everyone had this weekend and was feeling kinda left out. Granted, I was home so it was inevitable. I just have brain-type issues I guess. Whatever.

Monday was... interesting to say the least. ZOMG!!! Emily made me this absolutely amazing book. She's taking an art class where she has to practice book binding and stuff. The cover is insanely shiny blue and all the pages are black. Every 7 or so pages there's an insert with an ocean scene. She also gave me some silver pens to go with it. go here: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/24150898/ for pictures. It's prettyful.

I also got suspended from work for my Thursday shift. Basically I made a really stupid mistake in the system that was more a result of me not doublechecking my stuff than a bad mistake. But nonetheless, I'm not going to work on thursday, which I suppose I should take as a good thing since I have that huge exam on Friday.

Meh. I dunno... I'm too restless for this.. maybe I'll just try studying some more...

I have chips, salsa and a bottle of coke. Hardcore reading to get done, but first.. an update.

I just realized that today marks exactly one month that I've been here at school. August 18th I walked into my dorm room with all my stuff, ready to start a new year. And here I am... my world so totally turned upside down. It's crazy. I'd never thought so much could happen.

Schoolwise I have some issues. Personal matters, relationships, everything have all been making me feel no desire to apply myself to my studies. An issue that I'm going to fix tonight. 4 chapters of genetics reading ahoy!

ResNet has never been better. I've reached the point where I can call a lot of the people I work with friends. It's awesome. And despite the boringness of the call center...I'm loving it. I think that should I decide to stay on with this place next semester... I *might* try for Tier 3... Hah. Ambitious I know, what with my current tech skills... But, no one says I can't try. It's one of those things where I know I should be able to do it, but it will take a lot of work. =) Carolina, Fight!

But still lots of confusion. Questions left unanswered. Crazy shit has gone down recently and I'm still wondering what to make of it. And all I can do is talk to those involved, but that's hard. I dislike confrontation and direct questions. A downfall of mine. A fear of being rejected, being told no. Being told that everything I think is futile in the end. So it keeps me from asking. *sigh* Yeah... Funtastical thoughtful times for me. *facepalm* I can't help but think I do this all to myself with the whole overanalyzing things.. but I can't help it. It's what I do.

A side effect of my own personality. I hide. I conceal. It's a rare thing to see my mask drop at all. I know other people do it too to a certain extent. And it makes me try and figure out what other people are thinking. Gah.

And this isn't helping me read... perhaps I should just drink some soda then go back to this reading.

I just need to know...

7pm... 2 more hours. I feel like.. depressed or something. It's annoying as all hell. I kinda just want to run... I dont care where. I just want to run. Too bad I can't. *sigh*

Marianne moved in today. Luckily she liked the room setup and with all her stuff in there is looks awesome. Lots of posters and color and the rug is nice looking. I think this year is going to be good in terms of room setup. But at the same time... damn to school starting. And damn to people filling up the place and making it crowded. I didn't get the solitude that I really needed this summer. And now I doubt I will be getting it.

I don't know what to do. I feel avoidant, but I think I'm doing it for the sake of my own sanity. What little is left. I'm confused. Confusion sparks the instinct to run away. Argh.

My stomach hurts from the food I ate at dinner tonight. it's not fun. I'm trying to ignore it but... it's clearly not working. I'm stressed.

Argh.. serious need to run. Need to get out. Escape. Wow. This sucks. 1.5 hours......

I'm not sure if I want it to end or if I want it to keep going so I dont have to deal with the world outside of resnet.

*dies slowly*

I've been in the call center since 9am this morning.... and finally there is a moment when I'm not talking to someone. I feel this slow burning in the back of my throat and I'm not so sure I'll be able to talk tomorrow.

I'm still convinced that Padma should have rotated people through here. 12 hours on the phone is a bit much.

(half an hour later)Well we got busy again. I went to dinner and the dining hall is closed. Padma syas she is going to order out for us. *cry* i r hungry now and in need of a break. Meh.

i'm going to be flinching at the sound of the phone by the end of today. *dies*

3.75 hours.... you can do this... i mean... its already been 8... less than 4 should be cake....

So now that I have time I should update about what I have been up to now that I am back at school perhaps.

Well... the short version is I've been doing training. And as much as I was dreading it before coming here, it's actually been pretty good.

yeah... I had forgotten how awesome some of the people here are, which is kinda sad in a way. I hadn't realized it all summer really, but I spend that whole time not hanging out with people with similar interests. No one to geek about anime to, no one to chill with and watch movies, no one to listen to techno with and laughing at flash cartoons. And now that I'm here, I feel like I need to take advantage of it by hanging out lots cuz I know that once the year hits, it likely won't happen, as sad as that will be.

But yeah... that's about it for what I wanna say I guess... not that it's all, but I'd rather not go into it....... *sigh*

ps- littlekellylee yes that was me that you saw in the grey car here at school.