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So somehow we managed to get home in one piece. It started snowing this morning in New Hampshire, so the roads were iffy for a while.. especially since we made our yearly trek across the mountain to the outlet mall... It was a slippery mountain and my dad was fond of taking us 30-40 mph around every corner. Ok.. maybe it's not that fast.. but when it's snowing and the roads are icy.... eek.
Anyway, it was a longer trip than needed, but we made it. And now I have... basically hours left at home before I leave again. Tomorrow I'll be gone for pretty much the afternoon till Monday morning. And the time up to that will be spent trying to finish applications. Oh yes.. and packing for that trip to Chile. And when I get back Monday morning.. I shall have to finish said activities. Which means... free time = zero. I need to start sleeping less.
I'm not sure how I feel about the trip. Like.. it's exciting, but I feel so far removed from my family down there. And my Spanish is rusty... at best. I hate speaking Spanish cuz all I can think about is all the times people would yell at me for doing it wrong. So I get all paranoid.. and then dont want to talk at all. Plus, I have no idea how I'm getting down south to visit half my family and with my luck i'll get put on a bus for 6 hours, miss my stop and end up far away and confused. *sigh* Plus I'm just gonna miss everything up here. Sure it'll be summer... but I like winter break.. sleeping in... staying up late online... meh.
Also... I'm afraid my thinking didnt really happen this vacation. I mean.. I tried. But sliding down a mountain all day and then dealing with family in the evening left me with the 15 minutes each night before I passed out to think. Which led to troubled sleep for me! And no real conclusions. I mean.. I had a conclusion and it's still there... but my mind is so freakin twisted up right now. And I'm just using the spare bits to get my applications done. That's what needs to be important right now... even if it's a pain in the ass, stealing my sanity and blah. I was reading old journal entries last night and I found one with a thought that I had forgotten. Don't close a door to your past unless there's an open one for the future... I don't remember where I heard that.... iunno. There's too many doors and I don't know where any of them go right now.
So.. basically I just kinda wish that everything would go away for a while. For all that people tell me to listen to my heart... it's hard. There's too much interference...
Anyway, it was a longer trip than needed, but we made it. And now I have... basically hours left at home before I leave again. Tomorrow I'll be gone for pretty much the afternoon till Monday morning. And the time up to that will be spent trying to finish applications. Oh yes.. and packing for that trip to Chile. And when I get back Monday morning.. I shall have to finish said activities. Which means... free time = zero. I need to start sleeping less.
I'm not sure how I feel about the trip. Like.. it's exciting, but I feel so far removed from my family down there. And my Spanish is rusty... at best. I hate speaking Spanish cuz all I can think about is all the times people would yell at me for doing it wrong. So I get all paranoid.. and then dont want to talk at all. Plus, I have no idea how I'm getting down south to visit half my family and with my luck i'll get put on a bus for 6 hours, miss my stop and end up far away and confused. *sigh* Plus I'm just gonna miss everything up here. Sure it'll be summer... but I like winter break.. sleeping in... staying up late online... meh.
Also... I'm afraid my thinking didnt really happen this vacation. I mean.. I tried. But sliding down a mountain all day and then dealing with family in the evening left me with the 15 minutes each night before I passed out to think. Which led to troubled sleep for me! And no real conclusions. I mean.. I had a conclusion and it's still there... but my mind is so freakin twisted up right now. And I'm just using the spare bits to get my applications done. That's what needs to be important right now... even if it's a pain in the ass, stealing my sanity and blah. I was reading old journal entries last night and I found one with a thought that I had forgotten. Don't close a door to your past unless there's an open one for the future... I don't remember where I heard that.... iunno. There's too many doors and I don't know where any of them go right now.
So.. basically I just kinda wish that everything would go away for a while. For all that people tell me to listen to my heart... it's hard. There's too much interference...
