Ah! I misunderstood then. I never really analyzed the sentence structure or anything as I was reading it. Mostly because I was looking for something interesting to do (i was in upstate new york where there is nothing going on) and probably was more desperate for something to read than something that was really good. Rabid fangirl in me rose up at your saying it read like a bad fic. Clearly, it's probably true. But if there's nothing going on, better bad fic than no fic at all. :/