Well fuck

[fiarra]

I can never get a break. This week has been the god damn fucking week from hell. And just when I thought it maybe was going to get better, everything shattered again. In the past week I have been rushed, nervous, angry, annoyed, sad, depressed, happy, fuzzy inside, alone, comforted, heart-broken... The list goes on. And this in a single week. That is like all the emotions I need for the whole MONTH.

I hate this. These days, everytime I get myself happy and content, something happens to kill it. Hard. Like, death my spork and blunt butter knife. And it just makes me feel really dead inside too. Like nothing matters anymore. And it's dangerous mindset but I can't do this crap anymore. I open myself up and then get clawed. And this all sounds really dramatic and shit, but I can't help it. And I definitely don't blame ANYONE about this. Those involved in making me happy or otherwise. It's me.

I fucking hate this. I'm kinda glad I'm home this weekend. I need some familiarity right now. Y'know... all my plushies... my own bed... my own room... no internet so I can't sit blankly in front of the screen for hours like I would.

I sat in my room and sobbed while Marianne was in shower. And now I can feel it coming back, but I can't let myself. I hate being a fucking weak whiny useless girl sometimes.

Comments

[lollipop24.livejournal.com]

**hugs** Oh dear. I did hope things had gotten better for you. I'm sorry that all this is going on and I'm sure things will look up soon!

[nagumomi.livejournal.com]

just remember what i told u a long time ago, whenever you are feeling unhappy just imagine me running around in high heels and a dress ^^
the jokes on me

[starsparkle333.livejournal.com]

=P
*hugs* you're so silly

[(Anonymous)]

i think ur obvious problem is ur not caught up to where u should be in fma, so buckle down and get to work watching those episodes. I mean, for god sakes ur background is fma! Get your eye on the prize, head in the game.

[starsparkle333.livejournal.com]

LOL that just might be the problem. A mix-up in priorities making me feel yucky. *nods* That must be it.

PS-do i know u??? *blinks*