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How to crush Carolina's happiness in 5 minutes...
Well... I was having a good day. I woke up after 12 today, thus giving me a solid 8 hours of sleep for the night. And oh man did it ever feel good. After lunch and stuff, I then proceeded to have an enjoyable afternoon chatting with my boyfriend. It continually amazes me how just hearing his voice will instantly brighten my whole day. I'll have to make it a point to call him occasionally. So yeah... that made my day very happy.
Then the crushing the happiness part... So at a little before 8, my phone rings. On the other end is my grandmother, who asks me in the this quiet, disappointed voice if I've remembered that it's my mother's bday today. The thought in my mind? 'Holy fucking shit'. Yes... I forgot. I had no class today, thus I never wrote the date down anywhere today and thus didn't even realize the date. I NEVER forget stuff like that. But my mind's been so preoccupied lately with the end of school and stuff. So I hang up with my grandmother and call home. My mom was glad I had called and I caught her up on everything I had done. And I wished her a happy birthday and all that.
The minute I got on the phone with my dad, I knew I was in for it. He didn't get angry, he didn't yell... he simply told me that my attitude showed that I was ungrateful, didn't care and that it made everyone unhappy and disappointed in me. I don't know if he knew that the whole time he was talking, I was sitting curled up against my closet trying my hardest to not make noise while I cried. I hate when they do that to me. They don't realize how hard it hits. Not at all. It's like ripping part of me out and stomping on it. And the more times they do it... the more it hurts. I don't even want to imagine the results when I tell them about my boyfriend. This doesn't bode well... I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of being stressed and annoyed. I'm tired of trying to live up to their expectations. I want it to stop. But I don't think it ever will...
*sigh* Movie night will make me happier though. And away to movies I go.
EDIT: On a cooler note... my devART page finally got 300 page views. Yay!
Then the crushing the happiness part... So at a little before 8, my phone rings. On the other end is my grandmother, who asks me in the this quiet, disappointed voice if I've remembered that it's my mother's bday today. The thought in my mind? 'Holy fucking shit'. Yes... I forgot. I had no class today, thus I never wrote the date down anywhere today and thus didn't even realize the date. I NEVER forget stuff like that. But my mind's been so preoccupied lately with the end of school and stuff. So I hang up with my grandmother and call home. My mom was glad I had called and I caught her up on everything I had done. And I wished her a happy birthday and all that.
The minute I got on the phone with my dad, I knew I was in for it. He didn't get angry, he didn't yell... he simply told me that my attitude showed that I was ungrateful, didn't care and that it made everyone unhappy and disappointed in me. I don't know if he knew that the whole time he was talking, I was sitting curled up against my closet trying my hardest to not make noise while I cried. I hate when they do that to me. They don't realize how hard it hits. Not at all. It's like ripping part of me out and stomping on it. And the more times they do it... the more it hurts. I don't even want to imagine the results when I tell them about my boyfriend. This doesn't bode well... I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of being stressed and annoyed. I'm tired of trying to live up to their expectations. I want it to stop. But I don't think it ever will...
*sigh* Movie night will make me happier though. And away to movies I go.
EDIT: On a cooler note... my devART page finally got 300 page views. Yay!
no subject
Your parents sound very.... confrontational, I guess. I dealt with my parents liking to yell at me by totally discounting their opinions; in web terms, I realised that they were trolling me, and it wasn't worth getting upset over.
This isn't necessarily a good solution, because it made me lose some respect for them. :(
But you should definitely either a) let it wash over you and ignore it or b) defend yourself. Don't let them lay into you like that.
no subject
And yes I have gotten all of the above advice from countless others. I just seem to be exceptionally dense... I'm working on it though. *grin*