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*sigh* Not such a good day today. I woke up at 10:30 and stared at math for a good hour and a half, trying to make sense of everything. I really just wanted to go curl up in a corner, cry, and then pass out. But that's life for ya. Went to psych. Went to bio. w00t!! I actually went to all my classes. Been a while since I've managed that.
I realized something today while I was walking around before and after psych. I was seriously considering just skipping bio because I'd been pretty much taking notes in my sleep during class and not paying attention. But I was thinking about math and how I skipped two classes in a row (thurs and yesterday) and now I was swamped in work and stuff that I don't understand because I missed the lecture. I guess it was a bit of a reality check. I can't do this. My not-sleeping much... there's only so long that I can survive that before I crash and burn. It almost happened today. My procrastination... it needs to stop and I need to crack down. I need to go to all my classes and face it all without wavering.
If I start with this slacking off, I'm just going to hate myself and I really don't want that. Because then I'll sink into a pool of indefference and listlessness. I have no right to be upset right now. There are more important things for me to worry about, other things and causes to put my energy into. I need to stop being self-pitying and whiny because it won't get me anywhere and annoy the rest of the world. I know I'm capable of doing what I want. I know that I can make it if I work. If I start this bad stuff, I'm going to lose sight of that. I need to focus on life as it is, the people in it, the things I see, the feelings I have everyday. All of it. I can't see it if I focus on myself and my own stupid, dumb, petty issues. So that's my mission I guess... My success will only be left up to time.
Something else I asked to myself last night... What do you do when words don't help and listening doesn't feel like enough? I dunno... Hmm... that probably seemed random. Oh well... I just wanted it written down somewhere I guess.
Heh... I read this on someone's profile while I was writing this entry and I kinda liked it...
"Take chances, tell the truth, date someone totally wrong for you, say no, spend all your cash, fall in love, get to know someone random, BE RANDOM, say I love you, sing out loud, laugh at a stupid joke, cry, get revenge, apologize, tell someone how much they mean to you, tell an asshole what you feel about him, let someone know what they're missing, stalk someone, blackmail, laugh til your stomach hurts, LIVE LIFE."
They didn't say where it was from, but I liked it.
In other news, I can't get in to the public hubs for some reason. It may have something to do with the fact that since I went over my bandwidth, I am now limited even more. Complete with connection slow-down. Oh joy...
I realized something today while I was walking around before and after psych. I was seriously considering just skipping bio because I'd been pretty much taking notes in my sleep during class and not paying attention. But I was thinking about math and how I skipped two classes in a row (thurs and yesterday) and now I was swamped in work and stuff that I don't understand because I missed the lecture. I guess it was a bit of a reality check. I can't do this. My not-sleeping much... there's only so long that I can survive that before I crash and burn. It almost happened today. My procrastination... it needs to stop and I need to crack down. I need to go to all my classes and face it all without wavering.
If I start with this slacking off, I'm just going to hate myself and I really don't want that. Because then I'll sink into a pool of indefference and listlessness. I have no right to be upset right now. There are more important things for me to worry about, other things and causes to put my energy into. I need to stop being self-pitying and whiny because it won't get me anywhere and annoy the rest of the world. I know I'm capable of doing what I want. I know that I can make it if I work. If I start this bad stuff, I'm going to lose sight of that. I need to focus on life as it is, the people in it, the things I see, the feelings I have everyday. All of it. I can't see it if I focus on myself and my own stupid, dumb, petty issues. So that's my mission I guess... My success will only be left up to time.
Something else I asked to myself last night... What do you do when words don't help and listening doesn't feel like enough? I dunno... Hmm... that probably seemed random. Oh well... I just wanted it written down somewhere I guess.
Heh... I read this on someone's profile while I was writing this entry and I kinda liked it...
"Take chances, tell the truth, date someone totally wrong for you, say no, spend all your cash, fall in love, get to know someone random, BE RANDOM, say I love you, sing out loud, laugh at a stupid joke, cry, get revenge, apologize, tell someone how much they mean to you, tell an asshole what you feel about him, let someone know what they're missing, stalk someone, blackmail, laugh til your stomach hurts, LIVE LIFE."
They didn't say where it was from, but I liked it.
In other news, I can't get in to the public hubs for some reason. It may have something to do with the fact that since I went over my bandwidth, I am now limited even more. Complete with connection slow-down. Oh joy...
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Disregard speed limits.
Look into deep space as often as possible through your telescopes, or with the
naked eye under Arizona skies, or however the hell you can get it.
Neglect neither the natural world nor the synthetic; both have beauty and
ugliness.
See poetry in science and science in poetry.
Live it while you got it.
Represent and drop mad science, with or without phat beats but always with mad
skills.
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