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the cullens do vegas
So I went to the midnight showing of the Twilight movie last night. Got home at 3:30am and am having a really hard time typing right now because I am so exhuasted, so any major typos are a result of that brain haze. xD But it was worth it for the lulz and amusement it brought me. So now I will recount it for you all.. under a cut so those who don't care can skip over this.
But first... omg the showed the Harry Potter trailer!!!! And it is soooooo good and I am so excited. The whole theatre burst into cheers and clapping when it was done and some girl yelled about how "that could have been right now". There were more cheers for the trailer than there were at the end of the movie... but I digress.
This is going to be hard to break down.. but I will try my best. Overall I can say that the movie was at least amusing... so it served the basic purpose. In term of actual quality, it fell short in a few very key ways. Mostly ways that point to some TERRIBLE direction. I looked up the director on imdb after ... and this is only her 4th directing credit.
First, the music was downright terrible. It was either extremely overpowering, or it just downright didn't match the tone of the scene of the moment. There was a lot of over-dramatic, bass-laded instrumentals at the beginning when Edward is doing a whole lot of creepy staring (and looking generally constipated). And instead of adding to the tension, it made everything seem totally absurd. Swelling instrumentals full of drama are great when the scene calls for it... otherwise it has no place in the movie. Music should compliment, not direct.
Also the filming itself was a little... weird. It was like they never just wanted to focus on one scene. All the forest scenes will Bella and Edward over-used the "let's pan around the scene in circles and make the audience dizzy!" Also way too much focusing in on people's faces... and eyes... and mouths.... Would it hurt to let us see the setting a little bit?! But mostly I was just made dizzy by all the circular panning. @_@
I have read parts of Twilight, but in truth have never just plowed through the whole thing. Mostly because whenever I try.. I find myself laughing too much to continue. However I felt that the scene shifts were much to abrupt and that the pacing of the movie was totally inconsistent. One second we're skipping through scenes like it's going out of style... the next we're lingering on a scene that doesn't need that much time. The fieldtrip (which I guess wasn't in the book?) seemed really random and like it didn't establish much. The baseball scene, while cool, was also longer than it needed to be. Again, all things that ought to have been fixed with some better directing. It made for a very inconsistent and rushed feeling movie.
As a result of it feeling rushed, there was no sense of building relationship. One second Edward is generally staring and acting like he hates her. The next he saves her from the car and she figures it out. And suddenly they're in love omgz. And then there's a lot of sappy dialogue, but no sense of actual connection. And scenes like when they're in the tree, which should be intense and romantic scenes end up being absurd because of the effects. Edward climbing up a tree spiderman-style with Bella on his back is just funny... and then she's in the tree and you're just waiting for her to be clumsy and fall.
And can I just say that the choppy scenes created some crazy sequence of events? My personal fave was when Bella is at school.. and she just walks into the woods (that happen to be next to the school).. and Edward follows here. And I'm sitting in my seat saying "why the crap did she just randomly walk into the woods?! I NEED EXPLANATION!!!" And then Edward went all capslock!Harry on here... but instead of it being like "omg he's scary angry and trying to drive her away!", the special effects of him warping around between trees makes it funny. And then he walks into the sun.... and the windchime sound effect wafts through the theatre as the sun shines on him.... and all I could do was laugh. The shine effect was... really shitty. His skin looked like a fuzzy peach that had been rolled in some glitter lotion. And he didn't ask if he dazzled her. And there weren't nearly enough scintillating muscles and incandescence. And then they lie in some grass. And supposedly that is the infamous meadow scene.
Bella also has some really weird dreams. And the Smeyer cameo made me lol so hard. Because in another sudden scene shift, suddenly her face just filled the screen and then panned out. Prz to being less obvious in your cameos.
And now we come to the acting. I will mostly focus on Kstew and Rpattz since everyone else in the movie may as well have been a cardboard cutout for all they mattered to the plot... cutouts to complement the cardboard cutouts that Bella and Edward are. Anyway.... Rpattz I think did quite well and it is obvious that he can indeed act. Unfortunately... his hair was AWFUL and they had him do too much of the "stare at your from under my eyebrows and generally look stiff and a little sick". He also had to contend with Kstew... who, to borrow a phrase, has the emotional range of a teaspoon. She constantly has this expression on her face (she does in all her pictures too.. not just as Bella!) that says "I have smelled something awful but I'm trying my best to mask my dislike". It's blank and vacant. When she tried to emote... she pulled an Emma Watson... except she didn't use her eyebrows.... she blinked. a lot. When a director insists on focusing on eyes a lot... this is not so good. One thing she is very good at though.. is looking lustful. Any scene where Bella was supposed to be wanting Edward in her pants (most of the last half of the movie) is made good by the fact that she is very good at that expression. Unfortunately, for much of the movie both actors looked like they were going to vomit. I know they are supposed to be a little awkward at first... a little uncomfortable. But they both liked doing this thing with their throat that made it look like they were trying not to dry heave. =\
The chemistry between them was not as awkward as you might have been lead to believe from the trailers.. but it's still kinda iffy. During the scenes when they were being all lustful it was easier to see the chemistry. But anytime they needed to interact outside of that.... it was a hard sell for me.
Let's see... what am I forgetting. Prom scene was cute... soft music... dancing in the gazebo... aww.... And then without warning it cuts to Victoria watching on with some bass-heavy actiony song in the background. And then suddenly the credits roll. Wut?
Ok let's talk about what was good. Her father... honestly stole the show for me. He was the most non-cardboard stereotype and he held that part well. He was most of the reason I laughed because it was actually meant to be funny. Alice was awesome and didn't have enough screentime. She was the most believable of the Cullens to be honest. She was also the only one who didn't look like she'd rolled in a puddle of baby powder before the movie started filming.
And the fight scene in the ballet studio can only be described as epic. I'm pretty sure that's where most of the film's budget went because it is dark.. and violent. And you totally forget all the hokeyness of the beginning while the action is happening. At least up until Edward has to suck the venom out of her.. and can't stop.. and he is like thrashing around while holding onto her wrist, eyes-bulging. And it just looks kinda funny.
But yea. I could go on, but my fingers are starting to hurt and I've already written a freaking novel about this. Maybe I'll think of more to add into a new post later. xD
Feel free to comment on anything, or ask anything too.
But first... omg the showed the Harry Potter trailer!!!! And it is soooooo good and I am so excited. The whole theatre burst into cheers and clapping when it was done and some girl yelled about how "that could have been right now". There were more cheers for the trailer than there were at the end of the movie... but I digress.
This is going to be hard to break down.. but I will try my best. Overall I can say that the movie was at least amusing... so it served the basic purpose. In term of actual quality, it fell short in a few very key ways. Mostly ways that point to some TERRIBLE direction. I looked up the director on imdb after ... and this is only her 4th directing credit.
First, the music was downright terrible. It was either extremely overpowering, or it just downright didn't match the tone of the scene of the moment. There was a lot of over-dramatic, bass-laded instrumentals at the beginning when Edward is doing a whole lot of creepy staring (and looking generally constipated). And instead of adding to the tension, it made everything seem totally absurd. Swelling instrumentals full of drama are great when the scene calls for it... otherwise it has no place in the movie. Music should compliment, not direct.
Also the filming itself was a little... weird. It was like they never just wanted to focus on one scene. All the forest scenes will Bella and Edward over-used the "let's pan around the scene in circles and make the audience dizzy!" Also way too much focusing in on people's faces... and eyes... and mouths.... Would it hurt to let us see the setting a little bit?! But mostly I was just made dizzy by all the circular panning. @_@
I have read parts of Twilight, but in truth have never just plowed through the whole thing. Mostly because whenever I try.. I find myself laughing too much to continue. However I felt that the scene shifts were much to abrupt and that the pacing of the movie was totally inconsistent. One second we're skipping through scenes like it's going out of style... the next we're lingering on a scene that doesn't need that much time. The fieldtrip (which I guess wasn't in the book?) seemed really random and like it didn't establish much. The baseball scene, while cool, was also longer than it needed to be. Again, all things that ought to have been fixed with some better directing. It made for a very inconsistent and rushed feeling movie.
As a result of it feeling rushed, there was no sense of building relationship. One second Edward is generally staring and acting like he hates her. The next he saves her from the car and she figures it out. And suddenly they're in love omgz. And then there's a lot of sappy dialogue, but no sense of actual connection. And scenes like when they're in the tree, which should be intense and romantic scenes end up being absurd because of the effects. Edward climbing up a tree spiderman-style with Bella on his back is just funny... and then she's in the tree and you're just waiting for her to be clumsy and fall.
And can I just say that the choppy scenes created some crazy sequence of events? My personal fave was when Bella is at school.. and she just walks into the woods (that happen to be next to the school).. and Edward follows here. And I'm sitting in my seat saying "why the crap did she just randomly walk into the woods?! I NEED EXPLANATION!!!" And then Edward went all capslock!Harry on here... but instead of it being like "omg he's scary angry and trying to drive her away!", the special effects of him warping around between trees makes it funny. And then he walks into the sun.... and the windchime sound effect wafts through the theatre as the sun shines on him.... and all I could do was laugh. The shine effect was... really shitty. His skin looked like a fuzzy peach that had been rolled in some glitter lotion. And he didn't ask if he dazzled her. And there weren't nearly enough scintillating muscles and incandescence. And then they lie in some grass. And supposedly that is the infamous meadow scene.
Bella also has some really weird dreams. And the Smeyer cameo made me lol so hard. Because in another sudden scene shift, suddenly her face just filled the screen and then panned out. Prz to being less obvious in your cameos.
And now we come to the acting. I will mostly focus on Kstew and Rpattz since everyone else in the movie may as well have been a cardboard cutout for all they mattered to the plot... cutouts to complement the cardboard cutouts that Bella and Edward are. Anyway.... Rpattz I think did quite well and it is obvious that he can indeed act. Unfortunately... his hair was AWFUL and they had him do too much of the "stare at your from under my eyebrows and generally look stiff and a little sick". He also had to contend with Kstew... who, to borrow a phrase, has the emotional range of a teaspoon. She constantly has this expression on her face (she does in all her pictures too.. not just as Bella!) that says "I have smelled something awful but I'm trying my best to mask my dislike". It's blank and vacant. When she tried to emote... she pulled an Emma Watson... except she didn't use her eyebrows.... she blinked. a lot. When a director insists on focusing on eyes a lot... this is not so good. One thing she is very good at though.. is looking lustful. Any scene where Bella was supposed to be wanting Edward in her pants (most of the last half of the movie) is made good by the fact that she is very good at that expression. Unfortunately, for much of the movie both actors looked like they were going to vomit. I know they are supposed to be a little awkward at first... a little uncomfortable. But they both liked doing this thing with their throat that made it look like they were trying not to dry heave. =\
The chemistry between them was not as awkward as you might have been lead to believe from the trailers.. but it's still kinda iffy. During the scenes when they were being all lustful it was easier to see the chemistry. But anytime they needed to interact outside of that.... it was a hard sell for me.
Let's see... what am I forgetting. Prom scene was cute... soft music... dancing in the gazebo... aww.... And then without warning it cuts to Victoria watching on with some bass-heavy actiony song in the background. And then suddenly the credits roll. Wut?
Ok let's talk about what was good. Her father... honestly stole the show for me. He was the most non-cardboard stereotype and he held that part well. He was most of the reason I laughed because it was actually meant to be funny. Alice was awesome and didn't have enough screentime. She was the most believable of the Cullens to be honest. She was also the only one who didn't look like she'd rolled in a puddle of baby powder before the movie started filming.
And the fight scene in the ballet studio can only be described as epic. I'm pretty sure that's where most of the film's budget went because it is dark.. and violent. And you totally forget all the hokeyness of the beginning while the action is happening. At least up until Edward has to suck the venom out of her.. and can't stop.. and he is like thrashing around while holding onto her wrist, eyes-bulging. And it just looks kinda funny.
But yea. I could go on, but my fingers are starting to hurt and I've already written a freaking novel about this. Maybe I'll think of more to add into a new post later. xD
Feel free to comment on anything, or ask anything too.
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