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i love it when ice daggers fall from the sky
Well.. as promised, school was canceled because of the ice falling from the sky. So its been a really chill day for me, which I definitely appreciate. Although I don't know what I would have done if class was still going on. Because I definitely stayed asleep until 11:30, well after both my morning classes.
I kinda wish my mind would stop bothering me. As usual, I've been thinking too much about things that dont really matter. Insecurities coming back up into my mind which I'm slowly in the processing of convincing to go away again. I suppose a lot of that is cuz Justin is going home again this weekend. Which is all well and good. I know he likes being home a lot.... a really large lot. So I suppose it's just a little depressing thinking about it since... y'know... home is kinda far away from me and a lot closer to this other half of his world that I really dont know like, anything about. Jacob invited me to his birthday party, I felt kinda awkward about going since.. well... I feel like "that girl". The one who did this terrible thing, and I know his parents really liked me. And it's weird, but I don't really wanna face them after that. Plus I'm not *that* great friends with everyone else who will be there. So it's going to be a slow and lonely weekend.
Although whining about that is wrong anyway. Because I'm perfectly capable of finding fun things to do on my own. Hah, except I'll probably just end up staying in, knitting and watching house. Actually... that sounds really good. -_- Being boring is ok though. Sometimes.
Technically, this weekend marks one month since Justin and I agreed to try this going out thing. It would be a lie for me to say it's been easy for me. I mean... it's still pretty hard, mostly with the whole... being really insecure but slowly working myself out of it. It's weird. It's not that I don't trust him. It's more like.. I'm trying to remember how to trust myself. Not in the sense that I'm going to do something terrible that will make everything end again. Well... gah i dunno. I already had this conversation. About what I did. How I did it. I don't see it happening again. I don't want it to so I'm not going to let it.
Man... *pokes head* Why are you so messed up?
oh yea... Happy Valentine's Day everyone.
I kinda wish my mind would stop bothering me. As usual, I've been thinking too much about things that dont really matter. Insecurities coming back up into my mind which I'm slowly in the processing of convincing to go away again. I suppose a lot of that is cuz Justin is going home again this weekend. Which is all well and good. I know he likes being home a lot.... a really large lot. So I suppose it's just a little depressing thinking about it since... y'know... home is kinda far away from me and a lot closer to this other half of his world that I really dont know like, anything about. Jacob invited me to his birthday party, I felt kinda awkward about going since.. well... I feel like "that girl". The one who did this terrible thing, and I know his parents really liked me. And it's weird, but I don't really wanna face them after that. Plus I'm not *that* great friends with everyone else who will be there. So it's going to be a slow and lonely weekend.
Although whining about that is wrong anyway. Because I'm perfectly capable of finding fun things to do on my own. Hah, except I'll probably just end up staying in, knitting and watching house. Actually... that sounds really good. -_- Being boring is ok though. Sometimes.
Technically, this weekend marks one month since Justin and I agreed to try this going out thing. It would be a lie for me to say it's been easy for me. I mean... it's still pretty hard, mostly with the whole... being really insecure but slowly working myself out of it. It's weird. It's not that I don't trust him. It's more like.. I'm trying to remember how to trust myself. Not in the sense that I'm going to do something terrible that will make everything end again. Well... gah i dunno. I already had this conversation. About what I did. How I did it. I don't see it happening again. I don't want it to so I'm not going to let it.
Man... *pokes head* Why are you so messed up?
oh yea... Happy Valentine's Day everyone.