GGAAAAAHH

[fiarra]

I love how it took me all of a day and a half to remember why I don't like going home.

At least yesterday was fun. I went to Trader Joe's with my mom and sister and lamented my lack of a kitchen while staring at yummy food. Then we went to a Mexican place to celebrate a family friend's bday. It was good food, but boring because I didn't really talk to anyone...

Woke up late today.... had my first of many arguments with my mom. My mother can never just tell me I'm doing a good job. Ever. She comes in to ask me if I want to go to Bob's or if I'm working. This right after I've been sitting and cursing my slow leeched internet. I need to talk to them about that... I seriously am hurting myself with this lack of connection. I have a lab report due Tues... but no internet with which to do the research quickly. Hell... if I didnt have this connection now, I wouldn't even have the class data and then I'd be screwed. But anyway, I said I could do work later and she goes off on how she doesn't want me to get distracted. Cuz on the ride how I'd mentioned how I wasn't doing maybe as well as I can be doing cuz of everything that's been going on. And I was like, whaaaa?

And then she goes off on how I lied to her and said I was exercising (I only told her I'd run for a few weeks, nothing more) and that I'm doing too many work hours (yes.. good idea.. take away my source of sanity...). And then I'm accused of not managing my time... and AARRRRGHHHH!!!

It might sound dumb... in fact, i know it's selfish of me. But I can't stand it. For so many years it's just felt like what I do is never enough. I get good grades... I keep myself in line. But it's never good enough. I never get a "good job carolina". I dunno anymore...

Nothing I do is good enough, so I'm doing what makes me happy... shouldn't that be good enough????

Comments

[quantumzen.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry Carolina. I know how hard on you your mom can be sometimes... I remember your mother telling me it was my personal responsibility to make sure you exercised. *Chuckle* So the invitation to come to the gym with Sarah, Steve, and I if you have the free time still stands...

The whole time I've known you I've been a bystander to your parents lofty expectations placed on you. And sometimes I didn't help. I'm sorry, Lina. Don't worry, chin up. You're twenty now. *Hugs* You do a wonderful job :o)

[starsparkle333.livejournal.com]

thanks

[wastedfodder.livejournal.com]

GOOD JOB CAROLINA!!! Keep up the good work! We're rooting for ya!!!

[starsparkle333.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[greg1984.livejournal.com]

Here's a BIG pat on the back for Carolina!! Good job girl!! Skip the gym and head to Coldstone Creamery for your reward!

[starsparkle333.livejournal.com]

thanks.

uumm... do i know you?

[crstn85.livejournal.com]

anytime after tues. that you get tired of being home, just call me and we'll go out. i'm sure i'll have very limited patience with my parents as well. but its less than a week and back to school. you'll be survive!

regardless, i'm so very proud of you and impressed with the way that you can juggle so many things! you do great work, have fun and make people happy, that in and of itself should be enough to make everyone happy. keep up the good work!!

[starsparkle333.livejournal.com]

yaaaaay.... i get to see cristina!! *dances* we'll both survive!

and i shall try!

[phlipp.livejournal.com]

Well I think you've been doing a good job Carolina. And last time I checked, I was way more important then your mom, which means what I say should matter a lot more.

btw is the mai hime cd good? i never bothered getting it.

[starsparkle333.livejournal.com]

you are def totally important!!

and the hime osts are good. they remind me of .hack//sign music. These 2 dont have the op and ed on them tho... it's all the background music. <3

[greg1984.livejournal.com]

No,I don't know you personally. I just like to give people that are feeling bummed out words of encouragement. Did it work? :) (how could thinking about ice cream not work?)