*siiiiiigh* None of this summer stuff is working out for me. There's no funding where I want to go and I def can't afford to find somewhere to live near Avery Point, have a car and eat for the summer if I'm not getting paid. Especially since apparently you can't even waive the independent study credit fee for the summer and then work for no pay. That's so dumb.

The only place that offered me funding was up here at storrs doing work with oysters. But that means no opportunity for field work to do my stuff... I'd be driving to UCONN everyday to be in a lab.

This sucks. And I know what my dad's going to say.... "this is your fault. you should have asked sooner and maybe they would have been able to get funding for you." Meh.

Normal people take the fact that nothing is working out to just give up.... I wish I could....

this song always makes me think of the summer. mohammed, one of the 2 guys, had gotten a burned copy of X+Y before it was actually released and we listened to it on the ride to and from work for about 2 weeks. it kinda became a symbol of the summer for me i guess. riding along the coast, sun glistening over the water, air wafting into our faces... *sigh* honestly.. i miss it. every memory reminds me how much i want to stay near the ocean. how it's like a crucial part of who i am and who i'm going to be. sounds and smells i guess... relaxing. piquing my curiousity to see how it all works.

...ok time to stop with the nostalgia

i feel considerably better today so i guess i'm getting better. still a bit of a cough, but nowhere near as bad as yesterday. thus the world is happy. well... almost. got into an argument with my parents last night over the phone. i asked for guidance for looking at labs at avery point. seems like most responses have been "we have space but no funding" so i'm like, gah. and apparently my parents' idea was for me to find a place down there to stay for the summer. i'd thought i would be living at home and driving there for work. jacob has offered me use of his house occasionally since his parents seem to like me, but i can't stay there all summer. i would feel bad and my parents won't like that idea. and it's always the same crap about how i've waited too long and how they've been telling me and if i'd done things on time there would be funding and it's all very blah. coupled with the fact that i'm not entirely sure what i want to do my thesis on and i'm being asked that by people. i guess i'll have to see. the thing the frustrates me the most is that in the process i'm opening up the possibility that i'm going to need a car and it's being pushed to the side and not an issue. and i'm like, it takes time to find a good car and make arrangements for payment and such. *sigh*

i guess i just gotta push forward. figure out a topic, email people to try and work something out, and go from there...

ps- wtf snow?!