damn it all to hell

[fiarra]

Machine is apparently not easily fixable. Rob is mad... I can tell. He's not said anthing, but it's easy to see he's not happy about it. Life is unfair. No matter how many times it gets thrown in my face, I somehow still refuse to get it. And I hate it. Now I really want to cry. I cant help feeling that this time I *really* fucked up somewhere and I don't think I can fix it. And I know this is turning into a bigger deal than it ought to be but more is at stake here than just me. Other people's work depended on this and here I went and quiet possibly messed it up entirely. Why am I such a screw up at life sometimes??? Just once I'd like to know why. I look like shit, I feel like shit... and here I thought it was going to be a good week. I doubt it. Not if it started with this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Now excuse while I go back to sitting at the desk and trying not to burst into tears...