rage and sadness. :|

[fiarra]

I really really just want to curl up into a ball and just stay there for at least a month. It honestly feels like I'm being punished for something and I wish it would stop.

Let's recap.

New Year's. I went to LA and had the fucking night of my life. But since then, life has decided that it needs to fuck me over in every way possible.

- debit card lost. ended up relocated, but too late because I'd already cancelled it
- car is still rattling. there is a light coming on in the dashboard every so often. probably because it's like a month and a half overdue for an oil change. oh wait, except i have no way to pay for one right now.
- cd player laser crapped out. oh i can't buy a new one.
- bank tells me they have no record of sending me a new card. i have to wait longer to get my card back.
- i spill juice on my laptop. keys stick for a while and i panic. it fixes itself, except the hinge has finished breaking. the screen no longer stays up on its own. AND OH WAIT. I CAN'T BUY MY NEW ONE BECAUSE OF MY FUCKING BANK.

And then today... my beloved phone. The phone I have taken extra care of because I love it to pieces and want it to last me for years and years. The phone I have kept in my pocket for the past year and a month. The phone I have... dropped, gotten wet, chewed on, cried on, slept on. The lower half of the screen is a touchpad. It now has a massive crack down the middle of it. I can use it, but there is no longer a display.

I literally sat in the empty lab room after my TAing and sobbed. And of course, my dad just used the upgrade to get himself a Blackberry. And OH WAIT I HAVE NO WAY TO GO TO VERIZON TO FUCKING BUY A NEW PHONE BECAUSE MY BANK IS STUPID. And I don't WANT a new phone. I want a fucking LG Venus because it's the right size and does everything exactly the way I need. And yea, Verizon no longer sells them. So now I dunno how expensive it might be to fix this one... or if I can buy one on ebay and get them to activate it.

BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE I HAVE $60 THAT NEED TO LAST ME UNTIL SATURDAY WHEN HOPEFULLY MY BANK CARD WILL BE IN CT. And my car needs gas.... so... more like I have $40 to last me till Sunday.


Someone please tell me what I did wrong. Where did I get some bad karma. ughh. brb, crying myself to sleep =\

ps- the teaching went just fine even if I'm still a bit awkward.