people always say.. life is full of choices..

[fiarra]

So.. tomorrow Spring Break is over. And it's back to school.. and busy-ness... and the ever-growing realization that in a month and half, which is going to just fly by... I'll be done.

It's a thought that holds an decreasing amount of joy in it.

Maybe I'm just complacent in my routine, but I guess.. I like where I am. I know the past 4 years haven't been perfect all the time. That they've actually been filled with more drama and personal issues than I would have thought possible for me. But... it's been *my* time. And regardless of all that, I know that... at least I'm proud of it all.

But at the same time, it's an end to too many things. Not really a final and complete end... but a big change. And.. I don't know how ready I am for that. Or rather.. I know that I'm not ready now.. but I don't know if I'll ever really be ready.

And meanwhile... everyday I just find more and more reasons and activities that are going to occupy the time I want for myself. The time I want to spend with my friends.. with my boyfriend... Y'know.. while I still have the chance to do that at will. As it stands, there are *maybe* 3 weekends when one of us won't be away or home. three. And even those will probably be full of other things.

*sigh* Now I'm just depressing myself more.

It makes me feel stupid too.. I try not to overly worry about it. Not to let myself linger over the thoughts all the time. But the closer it comes... the more I think about it. The more I realize...

=\ I'm just gonna go finish packing...