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SoaP
The year has drawn to a close without me consciously realizing it. I still really haven't. My brain isn't in "OMG FINALS!!1!!" mode. And it's all making me depressed cuz jacob left today for home. I'm seeing him on Sunday for my brother's confirmation, but it's not the same knowing that I can't just walk over to Towers to see him. meh.
I don't want to study. So I think instead I shall muse over the year some. I guess the one thing that can be said is that my life is consistent. Junior year was the most... interesting... much like in high school
If anything, the beginning of the year ought to have been my indication of a shaky year to follow. A long summer of separation and a lot of time for me to think ended in me breaking up with Pat. I wish I could say that I had handled the matter properly, but I can't. What followed (and is still somewhat following) was a long period of hurt and miscommunication. It was my first time dealing with any such event and I don't think that at the time I could have handled it any better. Nonetheless I'm infinitely grateful for the people who supported me during that time, offering me an open ear, a hug and reassuring words. It's still something of a work in process and I hope that with the distance of summer, Pat and I will eventually be able to stay friends. I think that's about all I want to say about that.
Then there was Jess. The second regret of the semester. I found the little silver bell she gave me first semester. She gives one to all of her friends... I was half expecting, in the spirit of irony, that it would be broken and not ring when I found it. It's in my pocket right now. I think I might make a bracelet or ring this summer with the bell woven in... to serve as a reminder I suppose. I can't help but feel that with everything that was going on at the time, everything just spun out of control. I still remember the night she sent me the email requesting that I not associate with her anymore. I didn't write anything specifically on LJ about it, but I remember being dead. I looked dead, felt dead. Anime club was never really the same. Another one of my friends had stopped showing up. *sigh* I don't know. I still kinda hope that someday I'll be able to reconcile with her. It wasn't really anyone's fault that what happened ended up happening... so maybe someday it can be fixed.
And now I've somewhat stabilized. Jacob and I have been going out for 5 months now and things couldn't be better. I think I've gotten very lucky after everything. Lucky that someone was willing to stick with me through the whole matter... through the angst and the drama. And now that it's started to clear, he's still here.
I guess that's a very loose and vague summary of the year... but I don't know what else there is to be said. It's nearly over and in 3 days I'll officially have one year left. One year. Its not that long. I guess I'll just have to see where it takes me.
I don't want to study. So I think instead I shall muse over the year some. I guess the one thing that can be said is that my life is consistent. Junior year was the most... interesting... much like in high school
If anything, the beginning of the year ought to have been my indication of a shaky year to follow. A long summer of separation and a lot of time for me to think ended in me breaking up with Pat. I wish I could say that I had handled the matter properly, but I can't. What followed (and is still somewhat following) was a long period of hurt and miscommunication. It was my first time dealing with any such event and I don't think that at the time I could have handled it any better. Nonetheless I'm infinitely grateful for the people who supported me during that time, offering me an open ear, a hug and reassuring words. It's still something of a work in process and I hope that with the distance of summer, Pat and I will eventually be able to stay friends. I think that's about all I want to say about that.
Then there was Jess. The second regret of the semester. I found the little silver bell she gave me first semester. She gives one to all of her friends... I was half expecting, in the spirit of irony, that it would be broken and not ring when I found it. It's in my pocket right now. I think I might make a bracelet or ring this summer with the bell woven in... to serve as a reminder I suppose. I can't help but feel that with everything that was going on at the time, everything just spun out of control. I still remember the night she sent me the email requesting that I not associate with her anymore. I didn't write anything specifically on LJ about it, but I remember being dead. I looked dead, felt dead. Anime club was never really the same. Another one of my friends had stopped showing up. *sigh* I don't know. I still kinda hope that someday I'll be able to reconcile with her. It wasn't really anyone's fault that what happened ended up happening... so maybe someday it can be fixed.
And now I've somewhat stabilized. Jacob and I have been going out for 5 months now and things couldn't be better. I think I've gotten very lucky after everything. Lucky that someone was willing to stick with me through the whole matter... through the angst and the drama. And now that it's started to clear, he's still here.
I guess that's a very loose and vague summary of the year... but I don't know what else there is to be said. It's nearly over and in 3 days I'll officially have one year left. One year. Its not that long. I guess I'll just have to see where it takes me.